Last week was another week from hell.
Busy at home, school and (for Wayne) work. I was a woman on the verge; I have weeks where I totally understand the alcoholic housewife stereotype from the 1950s. I so would have tossed back a few gin and tonics before noon, if I thought I could get away with it. I do have to drive carpool pick-up most of the week, you know.
Class.
Paige shopping & hair.
Prepare for the final 5 Girl Scout meetings.
Accompany Paige for senior portraits.
Maya field trip (I organized this one: 148 people attending the movie "Earth").
I finally cooked dinner on Thursday night.
Wayne attended a Big board meeting (huge stress).
Girl Scout meeting.
Girl Scout event (Brainiacs).
So we trudged through the week and suddenly it was Saturday afternoon, and I collapsed.
I came home from the Girl Scout event (fun!), and the house was clean. Wayne is a super-speedy cleaner of the house, and I am the easily distracted ADD cleaner of the house. He gets done in two hours what takes me all day.
We chilled all the day long, but for some reason, we couldn't ditch the kids. In fact, when one left, two more came and took her place. We went from 3 kids in the house to 4 kids! It's hard to fully unwind when the house runneth over with teenagers.
I think I'm going to take my mom's advice and be largely unscheduled this summer. No swim team (we quit and are officially done at the end of April). No YMCA. Just two weeks of Girl Scout day camp for Maya. That should leave us lots of time and some extra money for camping (and Brittani's senior year).
Paige graduates in a few weeks (June 13th). We're having her Graduation Party May 31st with our family and friends and her dad's family and friends. I think it will be a blast. I am still waffling between strangling the girl and embracing the girl. She's seriously making me feel nutso.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
whooosh!
This past weekend I attended a Troop Camp Training for Girl Scout leaders who are taking their troops camping; I went with my friend and co-leader, Sus. I had a blast, and I also rediscovered that there is a certain type of GS mom that I do not want to be.
We camped at Camp St. Albans in Belfair; I love Camp St. Albans. It's the camp both Paige and Brittani attended for resident camp, and we troop camped there in previous years as well. It was so odd to be standing in the same areas that I stood with my older girls--places I haven't been to in years. I don't know that I have had that feeling since Maya has been born, even when we may have done the same things as i did with the older two.
It was the most bizarre sense: I was standing in Okashi, which is a lodge where crafts were done when the kids were at troop camping. I could totally envision the tables set up; the kids sitting around the tables making lanyard animals; the mom I had a conversation with about modesty in the US versus Europe... it just all came flooding back. Paige and Brittani--ponytailed and toothless, or their teeth big and oddly growing in (happens to us all!). The flag ceremony in front of the Lodge of Nations. All of it. Staying in the Pixie cabins with Brittani's troop, and trekking down the hill to the Pixie program shelter. Girls counting off during headchecks.
I nearly cried.
My girls are growing up, but their past was right in front of me. I felt like I could touch the little girls that that they were, but the images just fizzled away. I can honestly say that was the first time I ever had anything like that happen. It was overwhelming.
We go troop camping that first weekend in June. New memories waiting to be made!
We camped at Camp St. Albans in Belfair; I love Camp St. Albans. It's the camp both Paige and Brittani attended for resident camp, and we troop camped there in previous years as well. It was so odd to be standing in the same areas that I stood with my older girls--places I haven't been to in years. I don't know that I have had that feeling since Maya has been born, even when we may have done the same things as i did with the older two.
It was the most bizarre sense: I was standing in Okashi, which is a lodge where crafts were done when the kids were at troop camping. I could totally envision the tables set up; the kids sitting around the tables making lanyard animals; the mom I had a conversation with about modesty in the US versus Europe... it just all came flooding back. Paige and Brittani--ponytailed and toothless, or their teeth big and oddly growing in (happens to us all!). The flag ceremony in front of the Lodge of Nations. All of it. Staying in the Pixie cabins with Brittani's troop, and trekking down the hill to the Pixie program shelter. Girls counting off during headchecks.
I nearly cried.
My girls are growing up, but their past was right in front of me. I felt like I could touch the little girls that that they were, but the images just fizzled away. I can honestly say that was the first time I ever had anything like that happen. It was overwhelming.
We go troop camping that first weekend in June. New memories waiting to be made!
Friday, April 10, 2009
the deciding factor
This morning I toured a new school in our district that I am considering enrolling Maya into next year. The principal (Mr P) took an hour out of his morning to personally show me and my friend around the school.
It was very impressive.
Some things that don't please me:
We have some thinking to do.
Oh, here's a picture of Maya doing something FUN and COOL in class recently; they were studying geometry, and they built robots using three dimensional objects. The end results were awesome.
It was very impressive.
- Brand new: just opened for the first year in the '08-'09 school year. K-6, as are all the elementary schools in our district (if I were the King of the District, I would change them to K-3 schools and 4-6 schools, but I'm crazy like that).
- Friendly staff: You must walk through the office to enter the building (safe), and the office staff were super nice and welcoming. Teachers and paras who came through were also friendly and made a point to say "hello" or "good morning" to us as we waited.
- Responsive classroom: This is a concept that was used in Maya's K and 1st grade classes, and it fits very well within the co-op structure; however, Responsive Classroom is a piece that is being lost in our current program because the teachers who truly advocated for it have left or are leaving. Mr. P really believes in Responsive Classroom; he was actually the principal at our current school when our co-op teachers were really getting into Responsive Classroom. His entire school now operates under that philosophy. Amazing. Every morning he writes a morning message for the students, staff and parents, and that is the first thing they see when they walk into the school. Ever classroom has a morning meeting and they also have an afternoon meeting where kids can add items to the agenda and issues are discussed and a resolution process is begun.
- They have the highest number of PTA members and parent volunteers in the whole district (our district is the 9th largest in the state, btw). Very impressive. Being able to volunteer in my kid's class is important to me, and you think that would be a given, but some teachers would prefer parents just make copies and correct papers. In the co-op model that we are in now, parents actually work with kids in small groups or one on one. It's nice to take time from one's day and spend it doing more than just busy work for the teacher.
- Low enrollment numbers: the school is built to hold 750 kids, and they have around 600 kids currently enrolled. Our current school is built for 550 and has about 850 enrolled.
- Looks good on paper: great WASL scores, not a Title I school.
- Technology: Insane. Each classroom is paired with another and between them, they each have a project room that consists of at least 4 (FOUR!!) computers, plus there's a computer lab *and* a rolling computer lab with laptops for the kids to use. ......... Astounding. Maya's current school has no computer lab. Her classroom has one computer that the teacher doesn't let the kids use. They go down the hall to another classroom to take AR tests, and that is their exposure to technology at school. Dismal, at best. Each classroom at the school we toured uses Smartboards. Maya's teacher last year had to buy a huge white board that she then hung over the existing blackboard. That is the whiteboard that Maya's teacher currently uses. Again...dismal. Kids check in using the Smartboard. The teacher uses a wireless mic to project her voice to the class--no yelling or voice straining. Sweeeet.
- The desks that are used are awesome. They aren't those heavy desks that you often see in a classroom; they are lightweight and have a steel grid area underneath for students to store their notebooks and whatever else goes in a desk. They appear to be easy to move around. Most of the classrooms did not put the kids in rows. I think I saw rows used in maybe one 2nd grade class. In K-3 they appeared to be in small groups or horseshoe shape. In 4th-6th grades, the kids make their own choices on where and how they want to sit to learn: alone, at a regular desk, small group, in a lawn chair at a low table, at angled or semi-circle tables. Very innovative.
- Kids eat in the lunchroom and not in class. That has its advantages and disadvantages. I do like the idea of my kid getting out of the classroom more often, though.
- Late start school: begins at 8:55 instead or 8:25. In the morning, half an hour makes a big difference. That does mean that dismissal is at 3:15 instead of 2;45.
Some things that don't please me:
- Large class size. We're talking about 26 or 27 kids in 1st and 2nd grade. 30 kids in 3rd. 30+ kids in 4th-6th. Maya is currently in a class of 23 kids with 23 sets of parent volunteers coming in weekly. Next year, the class size increases to 24.
- No field trips. The district has a lame policy that does not allow parent-driven field trips, and buses are expensive; therefore, most kids in the district go on maybe 1-2 field trips a year. Co-op is an exception from the no parent-driven field trip rule. The usual field trip(s) in our district are: Karshner Museum (snooze), which is a Puyallup history museum (and is great the first year you go and in 3rd grade, when the kids are finally allowed to enter the tee-pee) is an annual field trip, and sometimes the PTA will help pay for bus transportation to a play or NW trek. Maya has gone on numerous field trips this year with her class--5 in March and April: Pioneer Farm Museum, Little Red Riding Hood play at the pantages in Tacoma (PTA paid for the bus...the entire 2nd grade attended), Karshner, Pippi Longstocking play in Olympia (parent driven) and a private screening of the film Earth at the local movie theater (walking field trip--parent chaperones).
We have some thinking to do.
Oh, here's a picture of Maya doing something FUN and COOL in class recently; they were studying geometry, and they built robots using three dimensional objects. The end results were awesome.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
unintentionally cruel
I think that those of us who are parents have moments where we think, "my god, I really am a bad parent."
I had that moment--not for the first or last time, I'm certain-- on Thursday, March 26th at about 3:15pm.
That was when I paid someone almost $1,000 to turn my youngest daughter's mouth into something resembling a medieval torture device. To say I was shocked is an understatement; in fact, I keep thinking that I will take her back to the orthodontist's office and make him take the horrible thing out immediately.
She handled it well. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, I expected her to break down in tears, which is what I wanted to do; however, she looked surprised but she seemed to accept her new appearance easily enough.
We had an event at school that night, and most of the kids who saw her asked, "What is that in your mouth?!?!?" A few kids reacted by looking at her like she was a freak and then ran away from her. Very few kids reacted that way, and I wasn't at all surprised to see which kids behaved that way. The next day, she took time during her class' morning meeting to talk about it (it's called a crib) and answer questions. Her teacher said she was very self-assured while talking about it and answering questions.
I don't know how I've raised such a confident and self-assured child because I am one of the most insecure and self-conscious women I know; I told Wayne it must be his share of DNA that makes her that way.
Observe the cruelty:
It's only 12-18 months, right?
I had that moment--not for the first or last time, I'm certain-- on Thursday, March 26th at about 3:15pm.
That was when I paid someone almost $1,000 to turn my youngest daughter's mouth into something resembling a medieval torture device. To say I was shocked is an understatement; in fact, I keep thinking that I will take her back to the orthodontist's office and make him take the horrible thing out immediately.
She handled it well. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, I expected her to break down in tears, which is what I wanted to do; however, she looked surprised but she seemed to accept her new appearance easily enough.
We had an event at school that night, and most of the kids who saw her asked, "What is that in your mouth?!?!?" A few kids reacted by looking at her like she was a freak and then ran away from her. Very few kids reacted that way, and I wasn't at all surprised to see which kids behaved that way. The next day, she took time during her class' morning meeting to talk about it (it's called a crib) and answer questions. Her teacher said she was very self-assured while talking about it and answering questions.
I don't know how I've raised such a confident and self-assured child because I am one of the most insecure and self-conscious women I know; I told Wayne it must be his share of DNA that makes her that way.
Observe the cruelty:
It's only 12-18 months, right?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
three orthodontists walk into a bar...
My kid has some jacked up teeth, which is the result of almost continuous finger sucking (left hand, ring and middle fingers together) since 6 months of age. She's now almost 8 1/2.
(Long boring story ahead for referance purposes mostly.)
We made appointments with two of the orthodontists in town. There are probably six in town, if I had to guesstimate; I chose to meet with one who we saw a few years ago for Brittani, who ended up *not* getting braces, and the other one I just pulled off of the Goooogle.
Our first appointment was with a Downtown Orthodontist (Dr. Sutherland); my first impression upon entering the office was how chaotic it was. The staff were very friendly, though. I sat down and noticed a wall of pamphlets, the titles of which escape me now, but the topics were Christian based. There were a few on Crisis Pregnancy (which is code for anti-abortion literature). Lots of godly literature. Marriage is meant for 1 man + 1 Woman kind of stuff; some Pray the Gay Away pamphlets, too, IIRC. That kind of disturbed me, but I am aware that he runs his own business and can display whatever literature he chooses. My dentist always has LDS magazines out, though he has finally added some good stuff--Us Weekly, People-- to his magazine library. My dentist is awesome, and he could have all that same literature out, and I would still see him. Good care is hard to find, you know.
So I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt. His treatment coordinator, Maritza, was awesome. Super nice and welcoming. The Dr came in, and what I loved about him was how he addressed Maya directly. *She* is the patient; I just pay the bill. He sat and talked with us about life in general: school, work, hobbies, etc. He didn't rush through the consultation exam; he gave us plenty of time for questions. He gave Maya a water bottle (the bad kind, though...BPA and all that).
The care plan at this point was to simply break the habit of sucking her fingers (thumbguard), and then he would see how her teeth fell into place, at which time, we would look into the next phase (braces, headgear, whatever else it will entail). The estimate was $880 with a 3% discount for full payment up-front (our insurance doesn't cover orthodontia).
The next appointment was several weeks later (mid January) with the Sunrise Orthodontist (Dr. Almond). We had seen this Dr before with Brittani. That was the Dr who gave us a $30,000+ estimate for her orthodontics and oral surgery. Wayne gets a bad vibe from the guy; he seemed nice enough to me in our prior visit, but his estimate was just so high and his treatment plan was so aggressive with Brittani (cut her lower jaw to shorten it, wire the jaw shut for a couple of months) that it was scary. Our dentist recommended that we not pursue that treatment with Brittani. He said, "If she was my kid, I wouldn't do it."
So that's our history with the Sunrise Orthodontist.
The office staff, of course, are super nice. They always are. Like the previous office, they do computerized check-ins that the patients initiate themselves. It's pretty cool.
We get back to see the Dr, and everything he says to Maya has to do with what he needs her to do ("open your mouth; bite down..."); there was no conversation between her and the Dr or between us and the Dr. He kept bringing up Brittani's bite, which was annoying. He was obsessed with Brittani's lower jaw, which caused him to really focus on that during Maya's visit.
His treatment plan was far more aggressive (of course): thumbguard (to prevent finger sucking) with expanders, braces on the front four teeth and headgear. $3700 for Phase 1. Wow.
I was *stunned* when we left his office.
How could two orthodontists have two totally different approaches to Maya's finger-sucking, and how do I make sense of it all? I may spend more at the Sunrise Ortho up front, but at least that cost is there, and I'm aware of it. On the other hand, I really just want her to stop sucking her fingers; I'm not worried about her bite or her jaw growth right now. She's 8!
I was concerned that all of that stuff together could be overwhelming for her. It's hard enough to stop a soothing habit, but to throw braces and headgear into the mix at the same time? I know my kid, and I know that would stress her out.
When we left that appointment, I knew we were in for another appointment with yet another orthodontist. I was getting really sick of orthodontist consults, and they work such wacky days that we ended up having to wait a few weeks for an appointment.
The final orthodontist we saw was a South Hill Orthodontist (Dr. Sutherland).
Again--office staff is great. The treatment coordinator was fabulous, as they all are; let me digress for a sec: The office staff are the salespeople; the Dr is the delivery guy. That seems to be the case for the offices we visited anyway. I think one would be hard-pressed to find an orthodontist office that has a really rude staff.
Okay, so we're chatting with the treatment coordinator while waiting for the Dr. Like the Downtown Orthodontist, the Dr and treatment coordinator really took time to talk with Maya and make her feel comfortable before they started poking and prodding around her mouth and face.
This orthodontist presented a similar treatment plan to what the Downtown Orthodontist presented. I asked about the headgear and braces, and he said that maybe in a few years but not now. He said his opinion is that she is still too young, and he wants to see how her teeth will come in without the fingers getting in the way. He said the headgear will change her jaw by just a few millimeters and that he doesn't see the benefit right now in her case.
The treatment plan he presented was a thumbguard for now with future orthodontia needs to be determined in the future. $800 with a 5% discount for full payment up-front.
Then we had to make a decision: which orthodontist do we go with?
The Downtown and South Hill orthodontists were our options. There was no way in hell we were going to the Sunrise Orthodontist; he is very aggressive (from our experience with both the girls we've taken to him for consultations), and when it comes to orthodontia, aggressive = expensive = his next family vacation. Also, I really didn't appreciate his lack of communication with Maya, especially when the other two were so warm and welcoming when they spoke to her and to me.
We ended up choosing the South Hill Orthodontist, but that was largely because of location. I would highly recommend either the Downtown Orthodontist or the South Hill Orthodontist, and I let the Downtown Orthodontist know that I loved their office, staff and Dr; it just saves us about 40 minutes per appointment to use the South Hill Orthodontist.
Maya had her first appointment with SHO yesterday to place the spacers; she did great. She has one more appointment next week, and then the week before spring break is when the thumbguard will be placed.
Wish me luck. That is not going to be an easy habit to break...
(Long boring story ahead for referance purposes mostly.)
We made appointments with two of the orthodontists in town. There are probably six in town, if I had to guesstimate; I chose to meet with one who we saw a few years ago for Brittani, who ended up *not* getting braces, and the other one I just pulled off of the Goooogle.
Our first appointment was with a Downtown Orthodontist (Dr. Sutherland); my first impression upon entering the office was how chaotic it was. The staff were very friendly, though. I sat down and noticed a wall of pamphlets, the titles of which escape me now, but the topics were Christian based. There were a few on Crisis Pregnancy (which is code for anti-abortion literature). Lots of godly literature. Marriage is meant for 1 man + 1 Woman kind of stuff; some Pray the Gay Away pamphlets, too, IIRC. That kind of disturbed me, but I am aware that he runs his own business and can display whatever literature he chooses. My dentist always has LDS magazines out, though he has finally added some good stuff--Us Weekly, People-- to his magazine library. My dentist is awesome, and he could have all that same literature out, and I would still see him. Good care is hard to find, you know.
So I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt. His treatment coordinator, Maritza, was awesome. Super nice and welcoming. The Dr came in, and what I loved about him was how he addressed Maya directly. *She* is the patient; I just pay the bill. He sat and talked with us about life in general: school, work, hobbies, etc. He didn't rush through the consultation exam; he gave us plenty of time for questions. He gave Maya a water bottle (the bad kind, though...BPA and all that).
The care plan at this point was to simply break the habit of sucking her fingers (thumbguard), and then he would see how her teeth fell into place, at which time, we would look into the next phase (braces, headgear, whatever else it will entail). The estimate was $880 with a 3% discount for full payment up-front (our insurance doesn't cover orthodontia).
The next appointment was several weeks later (mid January) with the Sunrise Orthodontist (Dr. Almond). We had seen this Dr before with Brittani. That was the Dr who gave us a $30,000+ estimate for her orthodontics and oral surgery. Wayne gets a bad vibe from the guy; he seemed nice enough to me in our prior visit, but his estimate was just so high and his treatment plan was so aggressive with Brittani (cut her lower jaw to shorten it, wire the jaw shut for a couple of months) that it was scary. Our dentist recommended that we not pursue that treatment with Brittani. He said, "If she was my kid, I wouldn't do it."
So that's our history with the Sunrise Orthodontist.
The office staff, of course, are super nice. They always are. Like the previous office, they do computerized check-ins that the patients initiate themselves. It's pretty cool.
We get back to see the Dr, and everything he says to Maya has to do with what he needs her to do ("open your mouth; bite down..."); there was no conversation between her and the Dr or between us and the Dr. He kept bringing up Brittani's bite, which was annoying. He was obsessed with Brittani's lower jaw, which caused him to really focus on that during Maya's visit.
His treatment plan was far more aggressive (of course): thumbguard (to prevent finger sucking) with expanders, braces on the front four teeth and headgear. $3700 for Phase 1. Wow.
I was *stunned* when we left his office.
How could two orthodontists have two totally different approaches to Maya's finger-sucking, and how do I make sense of it all? I may spend more at the Sunrise Ortho up front, but at least that cost is there, and I'm aware of it. On the other hand, I really just want her to stop sucking her fingers; I'm not worried about her bite or her jaw growth right now. She's 8!
I was concerned that all of that stuff together could be overwhelming for her. It's hard enough to stop a soothing habit, but to throw braces and headgear into the mix at the same time? I know my kid, and I know that would stress her out.
When we left that appointment, I knew we were in for another appointment with yet another orthodontist. I was getting really sick of orthodontist consults, and they work such wacky days that we ended up having to wait a few weeks for an appointment.
The final orthodontist we saw was a South Hill Orthodontist (Dr. Sutherland).
Again--office staff is great. The treatment coordinator was fabulous, as they all are; let me digress for a sec: The office staff are the salespeople; the Dr is the delivery guy. That seems to be the case for the offices we visited anyway. I think one would be hard-pressed to find an orthodontist office that has a really rude staff.
Okay, so we're chatting with the treatment coordinator while waiting for the Dr. Like the Downtown Orthodontist, the Dr and treatment coordinator really took time to talk with Maya and make her feel comfortable before they started poking and prodding around her mouth and face.
This orthodontist presented a similar treatment plan to what the Downtown Orthodontist presented. I asked about the headgear and braces, and he said that maybe in a few years but not now. He said his opinion is that she is still too young, and he wants to see how her teeth will come in without the fingers getting in the way. He said the headgear will change her jaw by just a few millimeters and that he doesn't see the benefit right now in her case.
The treatment plan he presented was a thumbguard for now with future orthodontia needs to be determined in the future. $800 with a 5% discount for full payment up-front.
Then we had to make a decision: which orthodontist do we go with?
The Downtown and South Hill orthodontists were our options. There was no way in hell we were going to the Sunrise Orthodontist; he is very aggressive (from our experience with both the girls we've taken to him for consultations), and when it comes to orthodontia, aggressive = expensive = his next family vacation. Also, I really didn't appreciate his lack of communication with Maya, especially when the other two were so warm and welcoming when they spoke to her and to me.
We ended up choosing the South Hill Orthodontist, but that was largely because of location. I would highly recommend either the Downtown Orthodontist or the South Hill Orthodontist, and I let the Downtown Orthodontist know that I loved their office, staff and Dr; it just saves us about 40 minutes per appointment to use the South Hill Orthodontist.
Maya had her first appointment with SHO yesterday to place the spacers; she did great. She has one more appointment next week, and then the week before spring break is when the thumbguard will be placed.
Wish me luck. That is not going to be an easy habit to break...
Friday, March 6, 2009
hyperbole
I'm looking at the weather report for Saturday and Sunday, and guess what I see?
Snow.
I am so tired of this winter dreariness. It seems like winter gets longer and longer every year; I thought that with the extension of daylight saving time that winter would seem shorter, but nope.
I hate dst.
I always feel like I'm running late. I am always so relieved when we go back to standard time because dinner time doesn't happen 15 minutes after lunch time anymore. But then there's that whole dark at 2:30 crap to have to contend with. However, longer daylight hours just makes me feel like I need to make more use of the light. I don't like the government fiddling with my productivity guilt, so I think we should just decide to use one or the other. No more back and forth between dst and standard time; it just messes with my mind and body.
And I think it may cause cancer.
Snow.
I am so tired of this winter dreariness. It seems like winter gets longer and longer every year; I thought that with the extension of daylight saving time that winter would seem shorter, but nope.
I hate dst.
I always feel like I'm running late. I am always so relieved when we go back to standard time because dinner time doesn't happen 15 minutes after lunch time anymore. But then there's that whole dark at 2:30 crap to have to contend with. However, longer daylight hours just makes me feel like I need to make more use of the light. I don't like the government fiddling with my productivity guilt, so I think we should just decide to use one or the other. No more back and forth between dst and standard time; it just messes with my mind and body.
And I think it may cause cancer.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
nineteen eighty-nine
I have a daughter who is a senior.
Unless you, too, have had a child who is a senior, I don't think you can completely understand the stress, the pride, the fear and, in my case, the utter frustration that one feels as a parent of a senior.
Senior year is not an easy year for many kids. There are graduation requirements that need to be met (culminating project). There's the prospect of the future: Go to university? Community college? Tech school? Take a "gap year" and work, travel, loaf? Assert independence that you aren't so sure you're ready to wear? It's really, really tough. I know it has been *forever* since I was a senior in high school, but I remember the feelings that go with those decisions quite vividly because intensely felt feelings carve into your soul never to be forgotten.
I remember feeling that so many of my friends had their stuff together so much better than I. They were going to universities, community colleges. I didn't have a strong sense that I could take on those responsibilities. I was barely making it through my senior year! I felt a bit of a loss and that I was dangling out in the limboland of loserville. It pretty much sucked.
These are the things I remember as I see my own child struggle to fulfill her graduation requirements.
What saved me from myself my senior year...or, more specifically, *who* saved me from myself was a new teacher to our school. He was my horticulture teacher. I loved horticulture, and I still enjoy it, so don't mock. Plants are life and oxygen and are essential to our existence. Yeah, it would be considered a slacker class, but it was fulfilling--far more fulfilling to me then than, say, math.
Anyway, I was chronically truant. I had 20+ absences at one point in a semester, and it is easy to fall behind when one misses that many days in a semester. I was also taking a Zero Period class (I think it was History or Econ with Mr Kelly) and I had to take freaking Commercial Foods in order to get credit for my job. My senior year schedule sucked.
My horticulture teacher, Kirk Stuart, told me at one point that he was going to do whatever he could do to assure that I would graduate. He may have just wanted to get rid of me, but his motive is unimportant to me 20 years later. It was unimportant to me then. He was the only teacher I had in three years at that high school who appeared to care about my success at all. At that point, I think he cared more than I cared.
During my horticulture class, I would work on missing assignments from other classes. He'd help me if I needed it. He was a good guy.
I think about Mr. Stuart more than I think about any other teacher (except maybe Mrs. Pickens because I was just such a bitch to her--entirely unnecessarily, too). When I finally went back to school (community college), I thought of Mr. Stuart. What he did for me back in 1989 was really big of him. I don't know if I ever thanked him, but I am so grateful.
Now I see my kid fighting a system that can't be fought. She doesn't want to do certain things in order to graduate: compiling her portfolio from freshman through senior year, which includes 20 hours of community service, letters of recommendation, letters from college(s), resume, evidence of learning, etc, etc. It's a lot to do, and she has pretty much done none of it.
She won't listen to me because I am 20 years removed from high school, and she knows what a crap student I was because she mentions it often enough. Plus, I am her Mom. Moms are dumb. This I know because my Mom was dumb was I was Paige's age. I don't know what it is about moms, but once a kid turns about 16, the mom becomes retarded. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. I mean it literally. Their brains are not fully developed and are therefore reatrded in growth. For some reason, once the child reaches the age of about 20 or 21, his/her mom is suddenly normal again. It really sucks to be a mom in her retarded phase, which is what I am in now.
Paige needs a Mr. Stuart. A teacher who has confidence in her. A teacher who can relate to her. A teacher who can light a fire under her ass like no other person can. A teacher who believes she can graduate and then do whatever else she wants to do.
The problem is that Paige is not in a school with only 400-500 kids like my 9th-12th grade high school. She is in a 10th-12th grade high school that has more like 1500 kids. Her graduating class is *huge.* She disrespects her advisory teacher, who is supposed to walk her through this process. She has little to no respect for many of her teachers, and when you feel like a kid thinks you're slime, why would you ever invest your time and effort into helping her?
I know we'll make it through this year alive, and if she gets her ass in gear, she may even graduate on time with her peers.
Oy, but it's tough to be the parent of a senior.
Unless you, too, have had a child who is a senior, I don't think you can completely understand the stress, the pride, the fear and, in my case, the utter frustration that one feels as a parent of a senior.
Senior year is not an easy year for many kids. There are graduation requirements that need to be met (culminating project). There's the prospect of the future: Go to university? Community college? Tech school? Take a "gap year" and work, travel, loaf? Assert independence that you aren't so sure you're ready to wear? It's really, really tough. I know it has been *forever* since I was a senior in high school, but I remember the feelings that go with those decisions quite vividly because intensely felt feelings carve into your soul never to be forgotten.
I remember feeling that so many of my friends had their stuff together so much better than I. They were going to universities, community colleges. I didn't have a strong sense that I could take on those responsibilities. I was barely making it through my senior year! I felt a bit of a loss and that I was dangling out in the limboland of loserville. It pretty much sucked.
These are the things I remember as I see my own child struggle to fulfill her graduation requirements.
What saved me from myself my senior year...or, more specifically, *who* saved me from myself was a new teacher to our school. He was my horticulture teacher. I loved horticulture, and I still enjoy it, so don't mock. Plants are life and oxygen and are essential to our existence. Yeah, it would be considered a slacker class, but it was fulfilling--far more fulfilling to me then than, say, math.
Anyway, I was chronically truant. I had 20+ absences at one point in a semester, and it is easy to fall behind when one misses that many days in a semester. I was also taking a Zero Period class (I think it was History or Econ with Mr Kelly) and I had to take freaking Commercial Foods in order to get credit for my job. My senior year schedule sucked.
My horticulture teacher, Kirk Stuart, told me at one point that he was going to do whatever he could do to assure that I would graduate. He may have just wanted to get rid of me, but his motive is unimportant to me 20 years later. It was unimportant to me then. He was the only teacher I had in three years at that high school who appeared to care about my success at all. At that point, I think he cared more than I cared.
During my horticulture class, I would work on missing assignments from other classes. He'd help me if I needed it. He was a good guy.
I think about Mr. Stuart more than I think about any other teacher (except maybe Mrs. Pickens because I was just such a bitch to her--entirely unnecessarily, too). When I finally went back to school (community college), I thought of Mr. Stuart. What he did for me back in 1989 was really big of him. I don't know if I ever thanked him, but I am so grateful.
Now I see my kid fighting a system that can't be fought. She doesn't want to do certain things in order to graduate: compiling her portfolio from freshman through senior year, which includes 20 hours of community service, letters of recommendation, letters from college(s), resume, evidence of learning, etc, etc. It's a lot to do, and she has pretty much done none of it.
She won't listen to me because I am 20 years removed from high school, and she knows what a crap student I was because she mentions it often enough. Plus, I am her Mom. Moms are dumb. This I know because my Mom was dumb was I was Paige's age. I don't know what it is about moms, but once a kid turns about 16, the mom becomes retarded. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. I mean it literally. Their brains are not fully developed and are therefore reatrded in growth. For some reason, once the child reaches the age of about 20 or 21, his/her mom is suddenly normal again. It really sucks to be a mom in her retarded phase, which is what I am in now.
Paige needs a Mr. Stuart. A teacher who has confidence in her. A teacher who can relate to her. A teacher who can light a fire under her ass like no other person can. A teacher who believes she can graduate and then do whatever else she wants to do.
The problem is that Paige is not in a school with only 400-500 kids like my 9th-12th grade high school. She is in a 10th-12th grade high school that has more like 1500 kids. Her graduating class is *huge.* She disrespects her advisory teacher, who is supposed to walk her through this process. She has little to no respect for many of her teachers, and when you feel like a kid thinks you're slime, why would you ever invest your time and effort into helping her?
I know we'll make it through this year alive, and if she gets her ass in gear, she may even graduate on time with her peers.
Oy, but it's tough to be the parent of a senior.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
what will I be like when it comes time for her to go to college?
How important is a child's primary school years?
Maya is in 2nd grade, and she is part of a unique program within our school district; the program is multi-age (1-2 class, 3-4 class 5-6 class) and a full day kindergarten. It's been an excellent program for teaching leadership and mentoring skills, and the kids tend to do well-above average when tested in reading, writing and math. The class size tend to be smaller (low 20s or less compared to the 30s), and there is a minimum requirement for family volunteer hours. Field trips are taken at least once a month and sometimes more frequently.
I have to admit that I wasn't in love with Maya's 1st grade teacher, and there were some things she did that I strongly disagreed with as far as discipline within the classroom; however, aside from a few glaring exceptions, she had a great learning vibe in her class. The kids were always questioning and seeking answers. It was awesome.
She retired at the end of the year, and so Maya had a new teacher this year.
I love Maya's new teacher; if we were to go out for coffee, I could chat with her all day long. She's funny and personable; however, I hate how she runs her class. It's like stepping back in time 10-20 years. She is painfully traditional. If one were to walk in the classroom, it wouldn't be evident that it is a multi-age class. She has even admitted that she's not teaching multi-age; it's truly painful.
Recently it was announced that the beloved full-day Kindergarten co-op teacher's class will be cut to half-day. She doesn't want to do half-day and will leave the co-op if full-day is no longer an option. Ugh. She really gets the whole multi-age concept, and she is into the Responsive Classroom model, which is so cool. It would suck to lose her, and I feel (as many others do, too) that her absence will have a huge impact on the longevity of the co-op.
In addition to all of that, there is a new 3-4 co-op teacher this year, too. I haven't heard much about her. No one seems to be in love with what she is doing with the class, and no one seems to abhor what she's doing either. I want to be impressed with what is going on in the co-op classes, so I find it mildly upsetting that no one seems to have much to say about her.
Oh, and I also found out that our new principal, who is completely unsupportive of the co-op (the co-op consists of three multi-age classes and one full day K within a poorly performing public school; the kids in the co-op consistently test higher than the rest of the school) has decided that she will add 6th graders who are *not* part of the co-op to the co-op class because there are only 16 kids in the 5-6 co-op class; whereas there are 31 kids in some of the school's 6th grade classrooms. That action would totally undermine the concept of the co-op because those incoming kids' families would not be held to the same contracts that the rest of the families in co-op classes are held to.
All of these things have left me scrambling to find a really great educational model for my kid. Right now I have her on a waiver to attend the co-op. I drive her to school every day because there is no bus transport from our home to that school. We are contracted to 90 hours per year of volunteer time per school year (that's for one child; with each additional child the volunteer hour obligation increases). We pay for numerous field trips (an average of 2 per month) and a yearly registration fee. I want to see something different from the classrooms in my neighborhood school; otherwise, I might as well just stay in my neighborhood school and volunteer how ever much I want to volunteer and not spend money above and beyond what is required for normal public school education.
It's frustrating.
I found a great program, though. It's not in our district, so chances are slim that I could even get Maya into the school. It is about an hour away from where we live. It's a public school that is fully multi-age. Every class is either K-1-2 or 3-4-5. It looks amazing. They do an out-of-district lottery in the spring, and I think we might try our luck and see if we can get Maya in for the '09-'10 school year. We can do that until she's in 6th grade and then come back for 6th grade to our current co-op program. I've heard really good things about the 5-6 co-op teacher.
I never thought I would worry so much about primary and intermediate education for my kid, but I don't want her academic spirit to be killed. Already this year, her creative writing, which is one of her strengths, has diminished. Creativity, expression and exploration are simply not fostered this year, and it makes me so sad. Leadership and mentoring, which are cornerstones of muti-age learning, have been completely discarded.
What I would prefer is to change the existing program back to the vital and innovative program that was once its reputation, but if no one else is able to see the disintegration that is happening within the co-op, I will definitely take my kid to a school an hour away...if she can get in. If she can't get into the other school, I may just go to the school up the street. I don't know.
Maya is in 2nd grade, and she is part of a unique program within our school district; the program is multi-age (1-2 class, 3-4 class 5-6 class) and a full day kindergarten. It's been an excellent program for teaching leadership and mentoring skills, and the kids tend to do well-above average when tested in reading, writing and math. The class size tend to be smaller (low 20s or less compared to the 30s), and there is a minimum requirement for family volunteer hours. Field trips are taken at least once a month and sometimes more frequently.
I have to admit that I wasn't in love with Maya's 1st grade teacher, and there were some things she did that I strongly disagreed with as far as discipline within the classroom; however, aside from a few glaring exceptions, she had a great learning vibe in her class. The kids were always questioning and seeking answers. It was awesome.
She retired at the end of the year, and so Maya had a new teacher this year.
I love Maya's new teacher; if we were to go out for coffee, I could chat with her all day long. She's funny and personable; however, I hate how she runs her class. It's like stepping back in time 10-20 years. She is painfully traditional. If one were to walk in the classroom, it wouldn't be evident that it is a multi-age class. She has even admitted that she's not teaching multi-age; it's truly painful.
Recently it was announced that the beloved full-day Kindergarten co-op teacher's class will be cut to half-day. She doesn't want to do half-day and will leave the co-op if full-day is no longer an option. Ugh. She really gets the whole multi-age concept, and she is into the Responsive Classroom model, which is so cool. It would suck to lose her, and I feel (as many others do, too) that her absence will have a huge impact on the longevity of the co-op.
In addition to all of that, there is a new 3-4 co-op teacher this year, too. I haven't heard much about her. No one seems to be in love with what she is doing with the class, and no one seems to abhor what she's doing either. I want to be impressed with what is going on in the co-op classes, so I find it mildly upsetting that no one seems to have much to say about her.
Oh, and I also found out that our new principal, who is completely unsupportive of the co-op (the co-op consists of three multi-age classes and one full day K within a poorly performing public school; the kids in the co-op consistently test higher than the rest of the school) has decided that she will add 6th graders who are *not* part of the co-op to the co-op class because there are only 16 kids in the 5-6 co-op class; whereas there are 31 kids in some of the school's 6th grade classrooms. That action would totally undermine the concept of the co-op because those incoming kids' families would not be held to the same contracts that the rest of the families in co-op classes are held to.
All of these things have left me scrambling to find a really great educational model for my kid. Right now I have her on a waiver to attend the co-op. I drive her to school every day because there is no bus transport from our home to that school. We are contracted to 90 hours per year of volunteer time per school year (that's for one child; with each additional child the volunteer hour obligation increases). We pay for numerous field trips (an average of 2 per month) and a yearly registration fee. I want to see something different from the classrooms in my neighborhood school; otherwise, I might as well just stay in my neighborhood school and volunteer how ever much I want to volunteer and not spend money above and beyond what is required for normal public school education.
It's frustrating.
I found a great program, though. It's not in our district, so chances are slim that I could even get Maya into the school. It is about an hour away from where we live. It's a public school that is fully multi-age. Every class is either K-1-2 or 3-4-5. It looks amazing. They do an out-of-district lottery in the spring, and I think we might try our luck and see if we can get Maya in for the '09-'10 school year. We can do that until she's in 6th grade and then come back for 6th grade to our current co-op program. I've heard really good things about the 5-6 co-op teacher.
I never thought I would worry so much about primary and intermediate education for my kid, but I don't want her academic spirit to be killed. Already this year, her creative writing, which is one of her strengths, has diminished. Creativity, expression and exploration are simply not fostered this year, and it makes me so sad. Leadership and mentoring, which are cornerstones of muti-age learning, have been completely discarded.
What I would prefer is to change the existing program back to the vital and innovative program that was once its reputation, but if no one else is able to see the disintegration that is happening within the co-op, I will definitely take my kid to a school an hour away...if she can get in. If she can't get into the other school, I may just go to the school up the street. I don't know.
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