Tuesday, January 27, 2009

bad girls

Facebook is a bizarre thing.
Last night I added a girl I was friends with in junior high. Until I started writing back and forth with her, I had forgotten how crazy my junior high years were.

It also brought me back to this weird place.

I lived in the same neighborhood for 11 years or so, and I went to school with many of the same kids from elementary school through junior high. Just as I was getting ready to go on to the high school with my friends, my parents moved me to another town, another school. It worked out well enough-- I loved the high school I went to, once I warmed up to it, and I love(d) the friends I made there. That said, there are a lot of people that I went to school with for years and years that I have a ton of memories with, who graduated from a different high school-- a high school whose reunion I won't be part of. It feels weird. Sometimes I get mixed up and think a kid I went to junior high with is a kid with whom I went to high school. Or vice versa.

Anyway, my friend Denice, she cracked me up the night we were talking via Facebook. We did some crazy things together, and we really gave our parents serious headaches. I completely forgot all of that until we started to catch-up. Talking to Denice really made me miss the friends I had in my old neighborhood; we were a plentiful and fairly tight bunch of kids. My other friend from back then, Angie, has added several kids from Inglewood hill (our 'hood) and our junior high (Evergreen!) to her fb. I may end up copying her :-)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

late

What do you when you are 38, you have an 18 year old, a 16 year old and an 8 year old, and your period is 12 days late?

Freak out and then buy an ept.

Thankfully it (they) was (were) negative. It really scared me, though, because when a woman's husband has had a vasectomy, she trusts that pregnancy is not something she ever has to worry about again.

Wayne never went back to the doctor after his vasectomy to have his sperm count verified as zero, and I told him that he needs to go do that, um, now. I really don't want to become pregnant again. Five years ago, I would have been okay with it, but now? I would be actively parenting minor children from age 19 to age 56. I love my kids, but the idea of raising young ones for an additional 18+ years exhausts me to no end.

I guess I should schedule an appointment with my doctor, though, to get a check-up and make sure nothing too funny is going on in my reproductive organs. It's probably just peri-menopause--I saw an episode on perimenopause on Oprah last week.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

still

We're in Leavenworth and it's wonderful, as usual. We have a different room-- we always have the same room, so a new room is, well, weird. It's still a nice room, though: jacuzzi tub, king bed, suite with a private balcony.

No kids with us this year, which is different but good. We didn't get to go away on our yearly anniversary trip to Deep Forest Cabins, and this trip makes me miss that trip even more, but it's okay.

It's very quiet and still here now. Town is quiet--probably because of the recent flooding and the mountain passes were closed for a couple of days. Wayne is at some lecture right now...or talk..or whatever they call it. Something about families and the ICU. He loves his work, and he loves to learn more about how he can do what he does even better than he does it now.

No TV.
No Radio.
Just silence.
And a glowing monitor...

It's very nice.

---
I have a new series starting on Monday. The one couple has decided to drop, though their baby does not appear to have Down syndrome. They expect numerous other health complications in the infant. Mom said that the drs are telling her that she will be on strict bedrest before too long and that the baby will likely "be taken" early. To "be taken" usually means born by cesarean.
---

Last night Wayne received a facebook friend notification thingy. An ex...I don't know how to describe her... Just an Ex, I guess. Anyway, it was her. She has contacted him sine we have been together-- letters and phone calls that were rather pleading, if I recall correctly. It was a long time ago, though. She was long forgotten until thsi request came through.

He immediately wanted to ignore it. What!? He is such a guy. I made him accept it. I threatened to be angry with himif he didn't acceot it. He doesn't understand: accept it, so you can look at her profile. I had never seen her, only heard about her. I had to see.

So I looked through her profile and became slightly obsessed. I began asking a bunch of questions about his relationship with her that was 13 or so years ago. Like it even matters. It was well before us, and he has always said she was a nutcase.

So that led me to look at his facebook because of course, if he's (well, I'm) looking at hers, she's probably looking at his. And guess what? Not a single picture of me or us on his facebook. Then I get grumpy. Then he deleted her from his friends list because it was making me slightly insane.

It was all fun, and I wasn't really angry, and he didn't get angry--there was definitely no arguing during this Just an Ex Facebook Debacle-- it's just weird when you think that we each had these different lives before we met each other. I told him, "the odd thing is that now you KNOW she was actually looking for you on facebook." You just never know who out there is looking for you.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

sadness

This month marks the beginning of my seventh year of teaching natural childbirth classes.
I can't believe all the wonderful families I've been able to work with; each couple has taught me something new about pregnancy, birth and relationships.

I've been fortunate to have taught for this long without any major incidents with my students-- like injury and death.

I have a new series beginning on Monday. It was scheduled to begin January 26th, so I called my registered students to see if they would be down with beginning on the 12th instead. One mom I talked to received some unexpected news in late December right before the holidays: her baby is not developing as expected, and the prediction is that the baby has Down syndrome. I didn't know what to say. She had to wait until this week to find out more information because, of course, many people take time off for the holidays. She told me, "I'm sorry if I start crying." Oh. I feel awful that she felt the need to say that.

She said that she and her husband are fine with the baby having Down syndrome, it's the unknown that is scary...and the fact that everything that she thought was normal and predictable is now unknown and unpredictable. I am so sad for her--not because of anything that may be "wrong" with her baby-- because being pregnant, giving birth and having a baby can be such a fearful time for women and to top it off with the unknown and the waiting to know....it's just so hard.

I imagine that she will choose to not take my class. The baby will be taken from her immediately after his birth. There will be no immediate skin to skin or putting the baby to breast. She can still have a natural birth, though, unless something else arises that I am unaware of at this time. I try to imagine what it would be like for me to take a birthing class with women who are having perfectly healthy babies knowing that I am having a child with multiple health issues. I think it would be painful, but I also think that the experience can be positive for her and for those in class with her. Her experience can really touch others in ways that she may be unable to imagine right now and may really lift her spirits.

I feel for her, and I wish there was something I could do for her.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

slumdog millionaire

For Christmas, Wayne and I were given 4 pairs of movie tickets from Costco from my parents. They really are the best gift because Wayne and I love, love, love to see a good film, but we can rarely justify the expense. I'd rather wait for it to come on DVD than pay those insane prices. At home I'm also able to sit through an entire movie without people kicking the back of my seat and talking all throughout. Plus there's "pause" for when I have to pee.

However, at home there's no movie theater popcorn, which I love too much.

Wayne and I used the first pair of tickets last night. We went out to dinner at Blue Island Sushi Roll in Federal Way, which is really yummy. I love it there. Then we headed to Auburn to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

Oh. My. God.

It was the most moving, beautiful, horrifying and tragic film I have seen in a very long time.
I knew nothing about the flick except that it was about an 18 year old Indian guy who was looking for his lost love while on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. The plot description didn't grab me, but all I heard from anyone anywhere was how wonderful this movie was.

Oh. My. God.

I am really not overstating. It was the best film I have seen in I can't remember how long. I laughed. I cried. I cried some more. And then as credits rolled, I laughed as I cried. I can't get the damn movie out of my mind. I keep reading that the cultural and societal portrayals are accurate, which kills me. If kids really do live like that in India, it is disgraceful. It absolutely breaks my heart.

So go now to fandango to see where Slumdog Millionaire is playing near you.
I think I may go see it again and drag my mom and sister with me (well, I probably won't have to actually drag them); I don't think I have ever gone to the theater to see a movie more than once.

I can't wait until it comes out on DVD.