unsweetened

I was thinking back the other day to 2004.  2004 was the year I started my very first diet; I was weeks away from turning 33, and I had never felt a need to diet before, though I am sure that sometime around 2000/2001, I probably needed to diet.  Post-baby weight is harder to shed at age 29 than it is at age 19 (fyi).  Anyway, I was turning 33, and I was months (9, to be exact) away from getting married and going on a cruise through the Mexican riviera.

That was February 2004.  I followed the South Beach Diet and did The Firm and Denise Austin workouts in my living room. In November 2004 (at the moment I boarded the plane to New Orleans for my wedding and honeymoon), I stopped dieting and exercising and proceeded to gain back every pound I lost in 2004 (and then some).

Fast forward to May 2009.  I had reason to go to the doctor, which I never do (in sickness or in health), and those bastards made me step on the scale.  I'd been to the doctor a year or so prior and refused to be weighed, but I was curious this time. I think maybe we didn't have a working scale at our house.  I weighed 162, I believe.  One-hundred-sixty-two.  I am 5'2" (rounding up).  That was more than I weighed when I was full-term with my youngest daughter.  I was floored.

I went home from that appointment and joined Weight Watchers.  I thought, screw how expensive I think it is.    I need to do this.

Soon thereafter, my family joined the YMCA.  Again, we had always thought the Y was too expensive, but I had a goal in mind, and I needed to exercise and diet to reach that goal.

The goal, at that time, was my 20th high school reunion (August 2009).

By July 2010 I made my goal weight (I think I was 120 then), and I was really pleased with my progress.  I was at a lower weight than I was the last time I dieted.

In September 2010 my grandma died, and I used my "I'm a stress eater" rationale to excuse my going off-plan.  I haven't really been able to get myself back on the WW track.  I tried to follow the new plan (Points+) diligently but I still wasn't seeing much change in the scale.  It was frustrating.

I've been paying $39.95 a month to WW since May 2009, and I just haven't been seeing much change this time around with Points+.  I don't know if that's a result of the new plan or something I'm doing (or not doing).

We have another trip to Mexico coming up, and I realized several weeks ago that I had 10-15 pounds I'd like to lose before our trip.  I began an online weight-loss challenge with the idea that I had about 14 weeks to lose 15 pounds (that would put me at 120).  Before I began the challenge, I decided to do a weight-gain to make my loss more significant.  Don't ever do that.  Gaining 5 pounds is easy, but losing that same 5 pounds can take weeks.  By the time I began the challenge, I had increased my weight from 135 to 139.

Weight Watchers wasn't causing me to see the decent losses I'd seen on the previous plan (Points), which was 1-2 pounds per week.

A few weeks ago, I remembered summer 2010, when I was at a spray park with some friends; they had a book called The Belly Fat Cure that they were all flipping through.  It looked interesting, but this was about the time I met goal on WW, and I wasn't about to mess with my success.  This year, though, I thought maybe I need a change in diets.

Three weeks ago, I checked out Jorge Cruise's book, The Belly Fat Cure through my library (on my Nook Color!).  I really didn't like what he suggests one does to lose weight (and belly fat); it's just not fun:  low sugar (no more than 15g per day!), no artificial sweeteners (gasp!), and low-carb (120g per day).  I have to admit, I love the initial challenge of a diet, so initially I thought, can I really omit artificial sweeteners, my dear Splenda and saccharin?  Can I stop eating fruit, which I had been gorging on while following the WW Points+ plan?  I'm down to try testing myself.

Well, I'm concluding my second week on the plan (diet), and it's still not fun.  I do feel better.  My weight loss is still not as rapid as I would like (I was 132 today), but I am on track for my goal of 125 by the time of my trip.  No sweetener took some getting used to.  I tried Stevia in several forms (that is an allowable sweetener), but I don't like the taste of it.  I would rather have no sweetener than use Stevia.

My single complaint about the BFC is that there is no easy way to track my sugar, carb and fiber consumption during the day.  Can I get an app, please?  None available.  So I use post it pads that I write my intake on every day, then I stick the post-its on the pantry door.

At age 33, I was so proud to say that it had taken so long for me to go on a diet, and now I feel like I live my life on a diet.  I probably spent over $1,000 on Weight Watchers (even when I wasn't sticking to the plan, I continued to pay $39.95 per month from May 2009-September 2011), and even now, I only decreased my membership instead of cancelling.  After reading the BFC book, I have to wonder if all the fruit I was eating on WW Points+ (fruit is 0 pts) was keeping me from losing weight.  My sugar intake had to be through the roof.

At age 40, I wonder if I will ever be able to live life not on a diet and maintain a healthy weight (135 is considered overweight for my height).  Ugh.  In my next life, please let me be tall and have a fast metabolism.  Amen.  

summer 11

Summer has been a combination of a whirlwind of activity with a few days of laziness (love those days!).

The weather has been less than summery, but we get an 80* day here every once in awhile.  Currently, I am freezing my ass off and delaying a walk outside under the thick gray clouds.  I'd much rather it be sunny and slightly warm.  That would be far more motivating.

Maya is on her third week in a row of camp: she had Girl Scout resident camp followed by Girl Scout day camp last week and now this week is volleyball day camp.  For the next two and a half weeks, we got nothin' going on, though.  School shopping, I guess.  Maybe a trip to Spokane to see some old friends.  I feel like I have to fit in a hike or two.  If I don't plan in advance, though, and sucker someone else to go with me, I'll just putter around the house washing laundry, cleaning floors and avoiding the bigger, more overwhelming jobs that need to be done around here: the office, my bedroom closet, always the garage, and the desktop computer set-up upstairs, which will require a go-through of my hope chest, which is filled with my kids' memorabilia.

The stress level among me and Wayne is about an 8/10.  This weekend was great because we got to hang with our friends and forget that Monday through Friday cloud that decided to hang over our heads last week.  The weekend was great until we got home last night an realized that the next morning brought upon us yet another Monday.  Is it Friday yet?  If it could just get here, like, in the blink of an eye, I think we would both be very happy people.  Walking around all day every day with a knot in one's stomach is never a good feeling.

We have a night out planned this upcoming weekend.  The boys are doing security at an event in Silverdale, and it's so dorky because I always make fun of security at events, but I think it's kinda hot.  The weekend should be fun, I hope.  Everybody's working for the weekend, they say... ("they" would be Loverboy).

9 hours

I have nine hours without Maya today.
Never do I have that much time, uninterrupted, without my kid or my husband home.What will I do with my free time?

Clean, I am sure.  Or finish weeding the backyard.

We are having new floors installed in two weeks (omg!) throughout our downstairs, and getting everything off the floor and away is going to take some effort.  We are doing all the demo of the old floor ourselves, so as soon as my current class series ends next Tuesday (!!), we are going to start ripping up carpet, padding, vinyl and underlayment.

In other words, Wayne and I are going to be bitchier than usual at each other until about July 13th.

Last night we had a True Blood Season 4 Premiere Party at our house; we had our near and dears over, and it was a lot of fun.  Also this past weekend was a good friend's 2nd Annual Martini Party.  True to stereotype--yes, the one I tried to prevent myself from becoming (funny how that works)--I am currently in a tiff with another woman (or women) with whom I used to play Bunco.  We were all at the same martini party, but at some point they left early.  The mature strategy of one of the women is to completely pretend I am not where she may be or with whomever she's speaking.  It annoys and amuses me at the same time.  I feel like I am in 7th grade.  Sigh.  Well, she's a giant bitch anyway, and she is one of those people that everyone tolerates (why, exactly?) rather than enjoys being around (except that she is very amusing when she's drunk and has a propensity for flashing her newly purchased breasts).  It makes me so sad that that I have seriously become that suburban mom stereotype that I tried to resist (futilely, I guess).

Is this tiff (which I really think is serious enough to decide that I really don't want associate with the core group of women in that Bunco group) a sign that I need to get a fucking life?  I think so.

8 hours left; I better stop this rambliness and do something.

Bah

It is the first week of summer and the first week of summer break, and we aren't bored yet; however, we aren't very motivated either.  My to-do list is lengthy, and I feel like I spin in circles looking at it all and not accomplishing anything.  I did wash the sheets on two or our four beds, though, and I am embarrassed to admit how long it has been since our sheets were washed.  I hate washing sheets because that means I have to make my bed.  It's been awhile, and that's all I will say about that.

Well, I guess I have to go make the damn bed now.  I really wish I had a housekeeper to change my sheets and clean my bathrooms.  That's all I would have her (or him) do.  Instead, I will make my own bed, pee in my clean toilet (that I scrubbed myself today) and climb into the bed with the nice clean sheets (always feels so good) and read The Help.  It's good so far.  I have it on loan electronically from the library, and I forgot about it until today.  I have to read it before it is deleted off my Nook!  I love the voice the author uses; her first character (I'm only on chapter 1) feels so warm and southern.  I've heard mixed reviews from friends who have read The Help, but I'm already engrossed. I'm juggling 3 books right now: The Help; Jacob Have I Loved; Game of Thrones.  All three are great books so far, but I have to prioritize based on due dates!

Speaking of due dates, I may be doula-ing in August and September!

End of Days

Today was the last day of school for our only child who remains in the public school system.  It was a freaking roller coaster ride of a year, and I am glad it's over (though it is bittersweet).

If anyone ever believes that education is the one area safe from politicking, they are sadly mistaken.  This school year has taught me that the public education system is a mess beyond belief.  It's limping along well enough that, unless people look at it closely, it is not noticed what a wreck of a situation it has become.  I ended this year disgusted. I'm disappointed that we can't afford to send Maya to private school.

So now summer has begun, and we will be busy.  Camps, projects, concerts, math club...plus I'd like to incorporate weekly or biweekly hikes with Maya and some friends.  We'll see if I actually move forward with that plan.

Let's bring on the warm weather, shorts and tank tops.
Summer starts tomorrow!

2011

Happy New Year!


2011 has come upon us quicker than one can imagine, as far as I'm concerned.  


Funny enough, even though we are in a new calendar year, our family pretty much goes by the school calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar.  This "new year" in January thing feels less like a new year than the "new year" that begins in September. 


We rang in 2011 (our 15th NYE as a couple--not every year spent together, however) with friends new and old.  Too much to drink for some of us (not me this time), lots of really great karaoke singing and some decent food.  


It's the first of the month, and that means: I entertain the idea of another NaBloPoMo month!  Yeah.
January 2011 Blogroll
The theme for January is FRIENDS.

January 1, 2011

36 in a 25

Last week I got my first pullover and subsequent ticket in, oh, 14 years.  Ugh. I was so annoyed with myself!

It was in an area where I never speed (can't say that anymore), and I was cited for 11 over the speed limit (36 in a 25), which I guess means it will effect my insurance.

I was driving from a friend's house, was in a good mood, had my Christmas music blaring (it was 4 days before Christmas) while I sang along loudly; I wasn't paying any attention to my speed, but I quickly realized I was going too fast (it looked like 40mph on my speedometer).  I immediately slowed down, and that was when I saw the police car.  Too late.  I had literally gone 2 blocks.

He pulled out into the road, flipped on his lights, so I pulled over and hoped he was getting the guy behind me instead. If only I were so fortunate. Instead, he stopped behind me, and I reached down for my purse.  It wasn't on my floorboard where I usually keep it.  I looked in the back.  Nope.

Ugh.  It was at my friend's house.

I figured that I was going to really get a huge ticket for not having a license on me.  Luckily I had just put our new insurance card in my car (our policy renews the beginning of every December and June).  He gave me a pass on the no license thing, but I did get a $154 ticket.  Did I mention that was 4 days before Christmas?  Who sets up a speedtrap 4 days before Christmas in a tough economy?  No mercy, I tell ya.  Well, I guess there was a little mercy.

I vacillated between laughing and nearly crying over the whole thing.

I plan to ask for a deferment, and I hope the judge will agree to that.

whoosh

...and it's gone!
December is nearly done, and 2010 is pretty much behind us.

My goal of daily blogging fell flat before I even began, but that's okay.  It was a whirlwind month of stress, anxiety and sadness that culminated with great release and relief at about 5:30am Christmas morning.  I cannot express clearly my stress leading up to the Christmas and how relieved I was on Christmas morning when everything fell into place as I hoped.  The children were happy wi ththeir gifts; I was thrilled with mine.  Wayne accepted his gift from me with a polite smile (it was a heart rate monitor and iPod armband for working out and the new Deadmau5 CD).  He out-gifted me, as usual: a NookColor.  I love it!  I haven't been the voracious reader that I have been in the past, but I hope the NookColor will remedy that.  I am reading a couple books now on the Nook:

Everything I Needed to Know About Being A Girl I Learned from Judy Blume, which isn't as good as I hoped it would be.  It's a collection of short autobiographical stories from popular female authors, and some of them read like English 101 essays.  Some are really good, but some are just meh.  I think the concept is fabulous because it's such an accurate thesis.  I mean, didn't we, the women in my age group (40-ish), grow up learning all we needed to know from Judy Blume's characters?  Don't we all consider her a Goddess of YA fiction authors?  I know I do.  But one of the authors (can't remember which one) made a good point about Judy's books: they aren't as relevant to YA girls today.  I can't get Maya to Read Are You There, God?  It's me, Margaret.  She loved the Fudge books, but I read them to her a few years ago.  She re-read them last summer, but she wasn't inspired to move on to any other Judy Blume books.  It makes me sad.  Kids today are too savvy--and possibly too cynical-- to enjoy Judy Blume books without rolling their eyes and thinking the content is dated.  I can't speak about any of Judy Blume's other books, but the Fudge series has been updated to include cell phones and iPods in an effort toward relevance.  I wonder if Margaret is still talking about using a belt with her sanitary napkins (who ever really called them that?!  That was a dated reference even when I read the book).  But the burgeoning sexuality of the characters in Judy Blume's books is what I really remember and think was so important back then.  Breasts, periods, wet dreams, erections, masturbation, actual intercourse and blow-jobs...all that she put out there for us to learn about before actually experiencing any of it.  It was some kind of awesome.

Okay.  I have to go.  Maya is itching to run to Target and GameStop: gift cards burning holes in her pockets!

The annual hunt

Well, my December attempt at NaBloPoMo is already a total BUST, but I am okay with that.  Who the hell tried to do daily blogging (while not getting paid) during the holidays?  Crrrazzzy. 

Today we got our Christmas tree.  Every year (with a couple exceptions) we go to the same place: Cox Christmas Trees in Eatonville.  We've been going there since, I swear, 1992.  My parents moved to Eatonville in 1992, and I think that's the only place we've ever gone for a tree.  The people who own it are so cool. 

The weather held out for us today: it was warm (50*) and sunny, which never happens for us on a tree hunt day.  We got it home, stood, lit and decorated in record time.  By 6:15pm, we were sitting down to eat dinner, and the tree was all done. 

This was the first year that Paige wasn't with us to get the tree and help decorate it.  It was a little bit of a bummer, but it's okay.  I'm prepared to only take Maya with us next year to get a tree.

Paige and Harrison have leased and apartment and will be moving in January; next Christmas Paige will be finding and decorating her own Christmas tree!  I'm proud of my kid; she's taking good care of herself.  I just wish she would get her ass back to school. 

Wednesday is the day when I go visit my grandpa.  It's our standing date, and he looks forward to it every week--as do I.  The holidays are hard for anyone who has lost a loved one; today was three months since my grandma died.  While people all around him are putting up their Christmas decor, my grandpa has chosen to not do any of that.  No tree, no lights, nothing.  I know my grandma would be very sad to know that he's checked out of Christmas this year, but I get it.

He's trying to figure out what to do for Christmas this year.  My grandparents' usual Christmas eve was spent at their church's candlelight service, then they would go home and exchange gifts and then just chill out around the house until we all arrived Christmas day.

This Christmas looks to be a very lonely holiday for my grandpa. 

My mom invited my grandpa over for Christmas eve dinner, which is always spectacular.  He's of course welcome to come over as early as he'd like on Christmas day, too.  I'm kicking around the idea of having my family attend the church service with him on Christmas eve, too. 

My grandma dying has changed everything holiday in my family. 

December One

...and I am beat.
The Wednesday from hell has finally come to an end.
Car trouble, dentist, meeting, party, meeting.
Dinner at 9pm, and now I'm off to bed, so I can spin in the morning.

Reminder to self:
mean girls blog post must be written.  Tomorrow?
Such Zeitgeist!  I still haven't looked up that word.  Oy.