Thursday, August 9, 2007

high school reunion 2

My high school reunion-- 20th-- is probably in 2 years or so.
I say probably because someone has to organize it, and who knows if someone is actually doing it. It's probably the same damn people who used to do all the stuff for spirit week in high school.

Last reunion (10th) was okay but could have been soooooo much better.

I told my friend Renae that if we planned it, it would be way cooler. Our reunion was in a dingy conference room at the Red Hook Brewery. One must take into consideration, however, where I went to high school (wow, they changed their website. It looks pretty lame now). Snoqualmie, Wa. Small town-- actually, kids came from like, three surrounding areas to go to the one high school-- North Bend, Fall City, Preston and , of course, Snoqualmie.

A lot of my classmates still live in The Valley. Hey, if you click that link to the alumni site, one of my former classmates is in the alumni spotlight (unless it changed)! Andrew Miller...

He was adorable back then (I've always had a hang-up for red-haired guys), and damn...he looks exactly the same. Please tell me that is a picture from high school. Shouldn't he be fat and balding? Ugh.

Which brings me to my topic at hand.

I need to get into Reunion Condition.

This is even more serious than Wedding/Cruise Condition, which I took very seriously. Reunion Condition is going to take more planning and time. I'm older now and have gained another person on my belly and ass. My ankles are becoming cankles, and all I can do is eat ice cream...

Which isn't going to help me at all.

Reunion Condition...well, I don't see me getting back to my high school weight (105-110). Even at the last reunion, I weighed 115-125. I can't really recall.
Diet. Exercise. Weight training.

Will I need to join Weight Watchers? A gym? Can The Firm get me into Reunion Condition? Should I start smoking? All the skinny anemic people smoke.

No. Smoking means wrinkles. I'd rather avoid wrinkles. And there's the whole cancer thing, too. And it's stinky. And expensive. And generally unattractive.

Botox. A friend was telling me that if we go in together and share the bottle of botulism, that the clinic will charge us less. How much is Botox? She said that the last she heard, a few years ago, it was $350. Three HUNDRED and Fifty DOLLARS. May need to rethink the Botox idea or...get a job!

So I need to set some goals. I need to plan out my life for the next two years. How to get down to *"fuck you" weight by 2009.

*by "fuck you" weight, I don't mean TO fuck you... you know, it's the whole: fuck you; I look good for being almost 40. Shit. Almost 40.
I'll probably need some mood elevators by 2009.


Shan said...

fuck you weight - that's funny!!

Renae Breider Martin Reunion Freak said...

Huh. Remember, we are going to be there with OTHER almost 40-year-olds, so it would be awesome if we looked as good as we did at 18, but the bar as definitely been lowered.
If I look as good as I did at 18 I'm wearing a damn string bikini and stripper shoes to the reunion dinner, and I might just go buck naked. I only see these people every ten years, so WTF.
I will also be carrying my recently published novel — the one that I still need to write. Maybe I can wear the novel as a hat.

Renae Breider Martin Reunion Freak said...

Alumni site. I visited today and nominated you to organize the reunion AND manage the class missing members list.
I figured you have such great ideas and such undisguised distain for the previous reunion....
Have at it! :)

Renae Breider Martin said...

ummm... that's disdain, not distain, which, I don't know... means to remove stains?

shan said...

you did not!
You and I know exactly who will be doing the reunion organizing, but I don't know if I should name names.

Um, and if I recall correctly, and I'm almost certain I do, you exhibited equal disTain towards our last reunion. (Shout it out)

Actually, the thing that stuck out most about our last reunion (for me, anyway) besides who was MISSING (ahem: Jen, Andrew, Andy and Dave, all of whom I would like to see again) was how damn HOT Heather Mayhugh looked. And Rod Poepping's hot dance moves.

See, now this just gets me more psyched for the big 2-0.

Renae Again said...

I don't know what you're talking about. I think you've been drinking again. Please stop drinking so much because I don't want you to be pickled before the next reunion.
Also, put down the crack pipe. It's not good for you and will rot your teeth.