Monday, March 12, 2007

dirty sex

Did I get your attention with the subject?
Really what I meant is THIRTY SIX. Dirty Sex is so much more interesting, though.

Tomorrow, well, in two hours or so, I will be 36. Years. Old.

Thirty six, as in 18 twice over.
12 thrice.
nein 4 times.
6 x 6.

Ugh.

There are definitely some things about 36that are unappealing to me.
I'm fatter.
My skin looks like hell.
Gray hair.

But I think there are more things about being 36 that I actually like. Really, some of the unappealing aspects of 36 have not so much to do with my age as they have to do with the crap I put in my mouth and my sedentariness. Is sedentariness actually a word? If it isn't, it should be.

Sometimes I miss my younger, wilder days-- drinking a lot, partying often, lots of different guys to hang out with. I never had difficulty with socialization. I find I have a harder time socializing now than I did back then, but I think that's mostly because of, well, life.

I am a SAHM who is horrible at networking with other moms, even though I absolutley love hanging out with my friends wehn I get the chance. It's so easy to, you know, put your family and husband/partner ahead of everything else, which is fine and well, but sometimes a girl needs to cut loose (drink lemon drops or other frilly type of martini) with other girls! I just don't get that anymore, like I used to.

My girls, all three of them (6, 14 & 16), all are so connected to their girlfriends. They may drop a friend and make new friends, but they are very much about being with the girls. When did I stop hanging with my girlfriends? kids, marriage, life... girlfriends are hard to fit in, and when there is time, it's hard to get everyone on the same schedule. And sometimes I feel guilty for being out when Wayne is home. Poor guy; all he does is work, it seems. As bad as I am with girlfriends, he's even worse with his guy friends. He never hangs with the guys anymore.

Funny enough, I got an email tonight, after I was done teaching class, that some friends were getting together for drinks at a local Mexican restaurant. I wanted to go soooooo bad, but it was already 10pm. On a school night. On the night before my 36th birthday.

36.

Yes, I'm back to that again.

Am I the only woman who hates getting older? Every other woman I talk to is so okay with being older, and so I feel like a freak for wanting to CRY over turning another year older. Dammit.

What do I have to look forward to now that I am 36? Menopause? Facial hair. That one hair that grows off the chin... you know the one I'm talking about. Vaginal dryness. Yeah, I said it. Why the hell do you think there are KY commercials all over the freaking place anymore?

I guess that brings me full circle back to the subject line: dirty sex. The connection? vaginal dryness and KY jelly.

Do I sound completely whacked?

4 comments:

Stacie said...

Oh no, you sound perfectly sane. I just turned 36 in December and presently I am looking for a new job, trying to finish a bathroom remodel that's going on year three and I wouldn't know sex, dity or otherwise, if it walked up and goosed me.

And OMG, the chin hair! What the hell is that about? I'm concerned about age creases in my neck and where is my cute flat tummy of just two summers ago?

Well, darlin', happy birthday and you have to have a cosmo for all of us 18 twicers.

Estella said...

Hehehe. Yes Shannon, you're old. When I'm 36 you'll be allowed to tell me I'm old too.

Renae said...

Happy birthday!!
I hope you get lots of great gifts and pedicures for the entire year.

shan said...

Thanks, all!