dirty sex

Did I get your attention with the subject?
Really what I meant is THIRTY SIX. Dirty Sex is so much more interesting, though.

Tomorrow, well, in two hours or so, I will be 36. Years. Old.

Thirty six, as in 18 twice over.
12 thrice.
nein 4 times.
6 x 6.

Ugh.

There are definitely some things about 36that are unappealing to me.
I'm fatter.
My skin looks like hell.
Gray hair.

But I think there are more things about being 36 that I actually like. Really, some of the unappealing aspects of 36 have not so much to do with my age as they have to do with the crap I put in my mouth and my sedentariness. Is sedentariness actually a word? If it isn't, it should be.

Sometimes I miss my younger, wilder days-- drinking a lot, partying often, lots of different guys to hang out with. I never had difficulty with socialization. I find I have a harder time socializing now than I did back then, but I think that's mostly because of, well, life.

I am a SAHM who is horrible at networking with other moms, even though I absolutley love hanging out with my friends wehn I get the chance. It's so easy to, you know, put your family and husband/partner ahead of everything else, which is fine and well, but sometimes a girl needs to cut loose (drink lemon drops or other frilly type of martini) with other girls! I just don't get that anymore, like I used to.

My girls, all three of them (6, 14 & 16), all are so connected to their girlfriends. They may drop a friend and make new friends, but they are very much about being with the girls. When did I stop hanging with my girlfriends? kids, marriage, life... girlfriends are hard to fit in, and when there is time, it's hard to get everyone on the same schedule. And sometimes I feel guilty for being out when Wayne is home. Poor guy; all he does is work, it seems. As bad as I am with girlfriends, he's even worse with his guy friends. He never hangs with the guys anymore.

Funny enough, I got an email tonight, after I was done teaching class, that some friends were getting together for drinks at a local Mexican restaurant. I wanted to go soooooo bad, but it was already 10pm. On a school night. On the night before my 36th birthday.

36.

Yes, I'm back to that again.

Am I the only woman who hates getting older? Every other woman I talk to is so okay with being older, and so I feel like a freak for wanting to CRY over turning another year older. Dammit.

What do I have to look forward to now that I am 36? Menopause? Facial hair. That one hair that grows off the chin... you know the one I'm talking about. Vaginal dryness. Yeah, I said it. Why the hell do you think there are KY commercials all over the freaking place anymore?

I guess that brings me full circle back to the subject line: dirty sex. The connection? vaginal dryness and KY jelly.

Do I sound completely whacked?